Posted by : admin in (Getting Over Her)
Getting Over Break Up When Your Heart Is Twisted And Broken
Tagged Under : breakup, ex, getting over a breakup, getting over the break up
There are not many things in life which are more painful than having your heart broken.
Both men and women experience the pain of breaking up. Sometimes it may have been you who called it off and other times it may have been your ex, in either case, there is obvious pain on both sides. And, there are also times when the break up happened for good reasons – while other times it seemed to vanish into oblivion for no reason at all. These can be (and usually are) the most painful of all.
If you don’t start getting over the break up though, there could be some serious consequences. Don’t fall into the trap of lingering over a lost love or pining for your ex. The worst trap of all is to start to write a “victim story” that makes you the protagonist in a tale of love gone bad.
First of all, you need to realize that if you don’t get over your ex quickly, it will have a detrimental effect on any future relationship you might have.
Second, you need to realize that you can’t run away from it, medicate it, or suppress it. As difficult as it may sound, and as has as it will feel, you have to face the pain head on and deal with it.
Unfortunately, there’s no way out of a broken heart. There’s only a way through, so don’t even attempt to go around it either. Accept that there is going to be pain. Use the time during this period to understand the hurt and don’t try to supress it in any way. Here are just a few ways to deal with this (there are lots more and it depends on the individual) write in a journal, get counseling, talk to close friends, or pour your heart out in song. There are no quick solutions to getting over break up.
Next, as crazy as this may sound to you right now, you need to examine whether there is anything in your past that would have lead to your relationship break up. For instance, did the abuse in your childhood cause you to be an abuser in this relationship? This is just and example: Take note of those things because they will help you foster healthier relationships in the future. You would be surprised at how many events in our past contribute in shaping the person we are today.
Don’t make yourself out as the victim of the relationship either. You need to take responsibility for your actions. While your ex may have been the one “at Fault” and the immediate cause of the break up, the truth is that the underlying circumstances were caused by both of you. This is something which you also need to come to terms with so that you can be a better, more understanding person in your next relationship.
By dumping your “victim story” you will become a healthier, more attractive partner for a future girlfriend. You’ll begin to see that your “victim story” was composed of beliefs, attitudes and thoughts that color your perceptions about everything. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Hanging onto the idea that you were the victim will taint any future relationships.
When you handle your broken heart badly, you feed your pain. You’ll never get over break up.
But, when you can handle your emotions with the ultimate goal of letting them go, you enable healing. There is no time frame on the healing process but you will know in yourself when you feel happier.
Getting over a broken heart takes work. Don’t underestimate the factors which go into curing your heartbreak.
You’ve just lost a person who was extremely important to your life and in truth, was probably an extension of you. But, use this time for growth as well as healing and you will become a stronger person and have better relationships in the future. That is how you really go about getting over break up.
